bagos sgt2,, suhada,, a very goodjob.. why? because constantly being fool by people surround you.. easily giving ur hopes to people which u dont know much.. soooo good.. why?? because u olways let ur hearts and keeps it melting,. why everytime u just can't help watching such a big hopes grows inside ur heart. evnthough smtimes u olready know the ending.. which is will not be hepy as in ur daily daydreaming.. now, i have a will.. from now onn,, i'll not let my heart being so soft easily! cannot be foolish easily!! I'll become tougher than b4.. i promise wth the oll my heart.. start q new life now! forget all the past! lets look infront.. just,,, infront...

PERAMPAS!!!! (for girls especially)

ok2,, tau howt dgn tajuk entry kali ni kan,, pape pon..
salam semue....
ok2,, walaupun maybe xde pon yg bace blog aq ni,, tp aq nak cite jgak.. (maybe there is my bestie yg bace.)
ape korang fkir bile 1st time dgr prkataan perampas ni. mungkin ade yg kejam! x suke! benci! 
ye,, sesungguhnye kaum2 hawe mmg akan membenci golongan ini.. aq juge sebenarnye.. ye la,, duk bahagie2,, tup2 kesyngn kte kene amek ngn org laen kan.. mmg perit merit rasenye...

ok2,, chill,, aq rase kan,, kadang2 kte xley la nak  salahkan gadis tersebut sebagai perampas semate2 yg menyebabkan korang clash, gadoh or what eva kan..
ade byk kes ok,,

1st, maybe korang kene tgok betul2 diri korang, maybe korang ade buat big mistakes yg mnybabkan korang punye boyfie rase sush nak maafkan,, then dye tukar ke arah gadis tersebut..
ACTION TO TAKE: korang cube la elakkan buat kesilapan, n amalkan give n take utk mengelak bende2 ni k..

2nd, maybe pakwe korang tu mmg jenis yg BUAYE.. hoho,, mungkin la kan,, sbb tu klau nak kapel,, nak carik psngan,, sile kaji n selidik dulu ok,, lain la kalau korang da lame member kan.. mmg da betul2 kenal,, just like my two bestie! wish both of u long lasting!
ACTION TO TAKE: first, mcm td aku ckap, b4 kapel kaji seldik dulu, tapi kalau bende dah jadik, nasik dah jadi bubur kan,, tgglkan je laki mcm tu,, korang nak ke laki mcm tu jadik laki? nonono!!

after those reasons, and maybe reasons that is out of our minds, baru la korang consider all this because of the 'perampas' huhu.. because there is some kind of this girls out there.. and anggap je la korang xde jodoh dgn si die..
hokey2,, lastly,, i'm so sory pade sesape yg terase ke ape.. (bace pon xde, terase ade ke?) haha..
aq mmg xde ilmu sgt dlm hal2 ni,, cume tetibe terase nak tulis pasal ni.. why??
huhu..
(tadi terbace fb die,, die gaduh dgn gf dye,, how shock i am.. and seems like they are clash? maybe.. aq x tau nak rase ape,, hepy? mane boleh hepy di atas kesedihan org.. x ke,, kejam tu? tapi aku x kacau dyorng n not the reason of their problems tu.. tapi salah ke aku,, sebab once aq pernah berdoa, mungkinkah kalau dyorng xde jodoh,, aq still ade chance.. berdose ke aq? yg penting,,  now hati aku bercampur baur... b4 this aq nak lupekan je dye since aq xnak kacau hak org. one of my besfren pon nasehat the same thing,, but when all this happen.... what should i do? is it now my chance?? ) 

tu je from me k,, aligato'
ps: confused2!!!! 
 

mase form 5 dulu..

salam semue,, hari ni nak speaking boley? haha,, bukan ape,, td kemas2 buku tejumpe pulak essay BI aq mase form 5.. mmg memory! sebab ni la essay yg plg tggi markhnye aq dpt.. paham2 je la,, grammar aq ni dah la terabor,, bkan writer yg bgus pon,, but at least suke sgt dgn comment from my lovely mdm,, "a very good story and aroused my interest,," hihi,, bangge sekejap.. mmg pon klu buat essay aq akan pilih narrative essay je.. sebab tu essay aq kat matriks hampeh coz semuenye FACTS!!! haha,, don't care! janji dh dpt band 4 untuk MUET.. :p so here aq nak abadikan essay ni in my blog.. nak bace silekan, x nak,, to the next blog pleaz!! huhu..

      On a glow morning, in the first week of the second session of school in my last year in this high school. The sun were glows brightly at first. Suddenly, I can see some clouds prevent the sun ray to reflects to the earth. The breeze become colder and colder. I can feel that rain will falling down in a minute. I was in my History class. I don't know why, I felt so bored on that time. Not just like always, Mrs Kathleen usually will make me impressed. But not on that day. The rain comes down in a small volume. "Oh no, it's raining!", whispered my close friend, Dim beside my ear. I know him very well. He is the greatest athlete in this school, of course he would love the subject after this, that will bring him to the field. But obviously, I hate sports very much.

   When recess comes, the water still drops from the sky. I talked to myself. This rain is different like usual. I don't know why. I starts thinking badly. Maybe something bad will happen to me. Is it about my family problem? Oh, I thought it was over last week. My dream was stopped by Dim again. With a bowl of mee hoon, he sat beside me and ate noisily. It was very disturbing, but since he is my best friend, from my standard one. I let it be. What important, I want to go back earlier because it must be something that had happen to my house.

   Everybody in the house were so quiet and I can saw a big problem from all my family members faces. "What's wrong?" I asked to my elder brother, but he was so quiet and did not show any reactions. My mother woke up from the chair and hurrily  went to her room. I know something had happened, but nobody wanted to talk to me. "Please, don't do this to me, I want to know what what's happening? Why everybody look so sad?" with my bag still my back, I asked everybody in the house, but they were still so quiet.

    That evening, I can't even finished my homework. How can I? When I sat in front of the stairs, everybody stares at me. They were pointed at me. Suddenly my mother finally release her voice. "You have to make  a choice. You want to continue your plan to study in overseas or in Malaysia only?". I felt so shocked! Everybody in this house already know that I had planned to continue my study in overseas in medical. But why were they asking again? cannot wait waiting for my answers, my brother continue talking. "Our parents problem cannot be solved. I think mother will be happy if you continues your plan.". On that time, my mother went out and started her car engine. And my brother continues, "I hope you will think properly. If you go oversea, mother will take that opportunity to come with you. As a result, she will be far apart from father. And finally, I know they will breaks out, eventhough they denied it in front of me." My brother's long explanation had ruined everything that I had planned. My  environment becomes so dark and my lips were closed neatly.

     After three months SPM examination, the result comes out and just like thought, I owned a very good result with 6 A+ and another 4 is enough A. But I cannot feel any happiness in my heart. After a week, I received two letters. Both are opportunities for me to be a doctor. One, comes from the greatest matriculation college in this country and another one is a letter from oversea! I was honoured that I can study in Russia! But all the happiness gone when I remembered about my parents.


    Two days my head felt dizzy and I don't remember how much panadol that I had swallowed. Study in Russia just like in my dream, my parents divorce or study in this country with lesser facilities, but there will be a chance for my parents to get close together because they will not separated far apart. Study in Russia was one of my biggest dream. So many time I asked them, what were really happened? Why until this far, why must a divorcement and importantly, why must me!! I cannot make up my minds when each time I asked, nobody answered me. Dim got the same opportunity and he had registered to study in Russia. Everyday he will pursue me to registered before the expired date, but he does not know the dillema that I have to go through. I really hope that there will be an angel that can helped me to released me from this situation.


    Now, I am handling a scroll. A scroll that will help me to work in one og the hospital in my beloved country. It is my graduation day. I can see smiling, laughing of my friends surrounds me. But whats make me happier? The smile that comes from my parents on my important day. I see they are sitting in the right corner of the hall when all the graduates from my university, UKM are lined up to wait their turn to smile and take a snap on the stage. Everything was done right. Eventhough the scroll that I hold right now is not come from oversea's university, but I still will be a doctor. Eventhough I had to burn my dream, but when looking at the reverse side of the coin, I am satisfied. When my parents are no separated far apart, they make up their minds to solve their problems and now, they are attending my graduation day together. Will they be together if my graduation day held on oversea? I finally realized that I had made the right decision.


tu saje dari aku kali ni.. (penat taip!!)
aligato'

merdeka sekejap je..

salam...
x sangke akhirnye aku dah habes matrikulasi...
hampir setahun,, suke duke duduk dekat kmj dah aku harungi..
series mmg byk bende aq belaja duk sane..
yg plg penting belaja duk asrama la kan...

sedih juge la nak meniggalkan sume kat situ,, rumate2, kengkawan,, toilet(tipu nie), scandal aku (haiz....), yg aku admirer (slmt jadik pilot awak.. T_T huhu)
smlm ramai jugak la yg aq tgok nanges..
SIBLINGS aq pon nanges2 nak pisah.. tapi,, aku je yg kebal.. huhu.. bukan aku x sedeyh, tapi aku rase mmg betul2 dh bersedie nak tigglkn tempat tu,, so aq redha je kot.. lagi pon dgn lapar2, sakit badan entah dah bape hari,, x de feeling pon nak nanges.. huhu..
yg ade boyfie kat matriks usah ckap la,, mesti sedih bukan kepalang lagi sbb nak pisah dah..
haha,, padan muke,, sape suruh kapel kat matriks..
ingt ea pade adik2 junior, (klu ade trbace entry ni la kan), buang mase je becinte kat matriks ni sebenanye..
kehulu kehilir same2, study ke mane,, result ke mane,, last2 clash gak sbb kejap nak pisah jauh2 dah..
hahahahaha,,, kejam nye statement aku kan..
ye,, cari la kat U ye.. (target aku tu)..

ok2, enough pasal tu,, habes matriks teringat pulak aku psl future aq,, chewah..
aq dah dpt dah interview Doktor Perubatan kat usm.. tapi MasyaAllah jauh bnar.. pegi balik sorang dah 100 lbih,, mak bpk aku lg nak ikot? hmmm,, so lpas pikey smpai nak pecah kpale,,
aq decide x yah g la..  menyusahkan je..
ag pon kan exam hari tu susah agak la.. (mcm susah nk 4flat =_="),, tp aq still hoping for that 4 flat.. and for that course,, since usm punye prmhonan x same ngn upu, so,, ade peluang lg dlm upu,, skrang tggl doa je yg aq mampu buat.. (pray 4 me frens!!)

dari nak beli numbo pin, nak mohon, nak key in data, nak interview,, byk sgt hlangan yg dtg antare aq ngn usm ni.. haisy,,, xde jodoh aku dgn usm kowt..
lagi pon,, hari2 lpas solat, doa aku same je.. 'Ya Allah,, berikanlah aq peluang untuk belajar di UKM dan menjadi seorang doktor'...
dah specific ukm,, usm merajuk kot.. 
pape pon tgok la result mcm mne kan.. hoho..

ok,, menunggu bulan 9, ape nak buat? InsyaAllah aku akn keje kt library sekolah akak aq tu, tp dye kate gaji hari je,, so maybe x hari2.. so,, on9 je la.. haha..
aq tepikir nak buat something kat blog ni.. hmm..
pelan2, aq nak try tulis entry psal certain topic, and talk about my opinion about the chosen topic...
byk bende ade dlm kepale ni,, haha
lagi pon boring suda blog aku ni pasal peribadi je.. maybe klu ade rase2 hati nak d luahkan,, baru aq tulis about my self..
tunggu je la k..
so,, tu je la kot,, tatatititutu!!

*orang kate muke kite same, "ade jodoh tu sue!" seloroh kawan saye,, (we're staring to each other, >_<), tapi dah ade yg syg awk kan,, so, sy x kacau,, tapi klu jumpe kat U,, haha,, next plan will be launched!!* 

rasa hati

kau yang mengajar aku erti perasaan cinta kepadaku,

perasaan dihargai saat kau membalas perasaan ku,

walau tiada ikatan yang terjalin antara kita berdua..

namun kau jua yang mengajar erti keperitan dalam hidupku,

saat kau memilih dia dan bukan aku,

mungkin jua silapku yang mengatakan masih belum bersedia untuk mu suatu masa dahulu,

tapi bukankah seharusnya kau mengerti maksudku yang menginginkan waktu?..

kau tinggalkan daku tanpa pesanan,

berita kau memilih dia menjadi selumbar yang tertusuk jauh di sudut hati,

aku pasrah dengan keputusanmu dan ketegaan dia,

melihat aku derita di sudut hatiku..

khabar kebahagiaan kau dan dia sentiasa di hujung telingaku,

membuat hatiku pedih, namun tiada air mata lagi,

sampai akhirnya kau membuat pengakuan,

jarak dan taraf akademik yang memisahkan kita,

ada yang lebih layak untukku suatu hari nanti, ujarmu..

namun hati mana yang tidak sedih melihat kebahagiaan dirimu,

melihat dia merancang kehidupan bahagia bersamamu kelak,

di sini, hatiku masih luka,

memikirkan adakah pengganti dirimu?

hati ini pasrah dengan segala-galanya,

mungkin sudah ditakdirkan Ilahi..

aku mendoakan kau bahagia dengannya hingga hujung nafasmu,

lupakanlah aku dan jangan sesekali kau hubungi aku lagi,

jangan persoalkan jika aku tidak mahu lagi bersua dengan mu,

biarkan aku berlalu dari hidupmu,

untuk mencari kebahagiaan,

TANPA DIRIMU...

p/s: lepas ni sumpah aku x ingt, teringt, sengaje ingt or stalker kau lg.. semoge bahagie ye kawan

Ya Allah,, izinkan aku mencapai cita2 ku..